--A Step from Heaven by An Na
“I imagine somewhere, in that sky, Halmoni is in heaven, bowing and greeting Harabugi and Jesus. There, her back will never be tired, and she’ll fly with the angels and not say once, Slow down. This was always her dream. To be up there. In heaven. I am still here, reaching.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na
0 Comments
“My dream of the cloud is not new. I have had variations of the same dream since we immigrated to America. Sometimes I fall from the tree. Sometimes I wake up before I have even finished climbing to the highest branch. Most times I am leaning out, reaching. But in every dream there are always the clouds just beyond my grasp. They float close above me in thick, solid folds of billowy white sheets. In my dream I have somehow figured out that to catch a cloud means I’ll fly to heaven. Fly to the place that I have never seen but only dreamed exists. Heaven, the place I was supposed to go, but instead I ended up here.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na “Her forehead bunches up like crinkled paper and her eyes squeeze shut in the corners. She does not understand the English that sounds perfect in my head and then comes out messy as the can of spaghetti Uhmma lets me eat on Saturdays if I help with the laundry.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na “I do not understand why they are showing happy teeth. Do they not miss Halmoni? Are they not mad that they are not in the real heaven? Harabugi is waiting in the real heaven and Halmoni will go there without me. I do not care if we are a step from heaven. I tak a big swallow of the hurting drink. This is not heaven.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na “Wait, he says. Mi Gook is almost as good as heaven. Let us say it is a step from heaven.
I do not like his words. A step from heaven? I crawl off his lap and stand up straight. I say loud in my best voice, If this is not heaven, I want to go home.” --A Step from Heaven by An Na “This is heaven, I say. Mi Gook is heaven Where is Harabugi?
....Young Ju, Sahmchun says. Mi Gook is not heaven. Harabugi is with God. We are not in the sky with God? He shakes his head. I ask, Then how do you have all the blankets on the floor and big wooden doors? Everyone in heaven is rich and happy. Sahmchun shakes his head again. He says, Mi Gook is very nice. But it is not heaven.” --A Step from Heaven by An Na “I am a mountain rabbit bouncing, running. Where am I going? I am going to see Harabugi. And when Halmoni comes, I will ask her if she liked the bus that is called an airplane. In Mi Gook, everyone will be happy and filled with love. I am a mountain rabbit bouncing, running, closing my eyes. Waiting for heaven.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na “But then my eyes find the sky. Think about flying up, up, up. Now I know where we are going…God is in the sky. Mi Gook must be in heaven and I have always wanted to go to heaven.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na “Mi Gook. This is a magic word. It can make Uhmma and Apa stop fighting like some important person is knocking on the door.”
--A Step from Heaven by An Na |